King Herold of Norway
Skit

 

Action

(Translator formally walks out in front of crowd with King Herold not far behind, acting as if there was a little too much sugar in his coffee.)
Translator (always monotone voice): Tonight we have a special guest. Would you please welcome King Herald of Norway. He has a message for all Minnesotans, but since he cannot speak formal American-English, I will translate for you. (motions toward King Herald)
King Herald (always eccentric): Yada flurda fadida Norske!
Translator: Hello fellow Norwegians.
King Herald: Ida flurda odda people.
Translator: And members of other nationalities.
King Herald: Undu Bozos.
Translator: And Swedes.
King Herald: Uda flurda wa hoota furla.
Translator: It's been a ball to be here in Minnesota.
King Herald: Here a furlakina nisatood,
Translator: I have enjoyed your hospitality,
King Herald: Ufda Hehickta lefsa lutefisk YEACHCH!
Translator: But enough with the lefsa and lutefisk. (Note: for those of you who are fortunate enough not to know, lefsa and lutefisk are "traditional" Norwegian foods that are the equivalent of tasteless flatbread and salted Spam.)
King Herald: Ifa YEACHYEACHYEACH!!! (motions toward upchucking)
Translator: We don't eat that crap anymore either.
King Herald: Yufda from McDonald?
Translator: Got a hamburger?
King Herald: Yufda flurta da mina furla shona hoola hoot huna.
Translator: My wife and I have enjoyed our stay in your state.
King Herald: Kerna furna Mega Mallen. (grins)
Translator: Especially our time at the Mall of America.
King Herald: Lafleur to fleur to creeps undu blads.
Translator: While there, I was invited to join a street gang.
King Herald: Yafda Down wit dat, homey.
Translator: (important: you MUST keep a straight face and monotone voice.) I'm down with that, homey.
King Herald: Yata hoota varna Minnesota Wilde.
Translator: Hey, how about those Minnesota Wild. (MN's new hockey team)
King Herald (eyes wide and pound fist): Yata vernan Norska BANGA BANGA ahoona BANGA boota.
Translator: Nothing us Norwegians like better than a couple of North Americans beating the heck out of each other.
King Herald: (laughing) Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Translator: (not laughing) Ha Ha Ha Ha.
King Herald: Ifda flurda kurta furta yata dayatsa Norway dodem into Olso.
Translator: If you don't want them, we'll take the Wild to Norway and put them in Olso.
King Herald: Kefluta Slow Boat to China.
Translator: We would call them the slow boat to China.
King Herald: Yufda flu? Olso boat to China? Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Translator: Get it? Olso boat to China?
King Herald: Yasuita HULA HULA Smokin'
Translator: Somebody stop me, I'm on a roll.
King Herald: La leur day ra roor da ra dee.
Translator: I went to the rodeo the other day.
King Herald: Bootin' Scootin'
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Hoota furla slapa leather.
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Hoota hoota furla toosh push.
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Ida enden furla yoke.
Translator: I'll end with a joke.
King Herald: Yerfda furlen da winden blown eastern in Norway?
Translator: Why does the wind always blow to the east in Norway?
King Herald: *pause* Yurfda SVEDEM SUCKS!
Translator: Because Sweden inhales.
King Herald: Yufda flu lada.
Translator: See you later.
King Herald: Donna flurna badden lutefisk
Translator: Don't eat any bad lutefisk.
King Herald: (mumbling) Urfda canna flu.
Translator: Like you can tell.
King Herald: Yerfa Timmerwolves!
Translator: Go Timberwolves.
King Herald: Yerfa Twina!
Translator: Go Twins.
King Herald: Yerfa Vikna!
Translator: Go Vikings.
King Herald: Yurfa finda furla norska, la furla finde furla, banga hoota dodem fadida, yuta kurta hurla veran fluta.
Translator: (long pause) Bye.

Equipment

There will be two people in the skit: eccentric King Herold that's a little too cheerful for his own good and a boring translator with a distinctive monotone voice. No other equipment necessary, but costumes like a flouresent colored shirt for "King Herold" and a formal tie for the translator are always a plus.

Preparation

This skit is best performed when the two characters have practiced and memorized their lines thoroughly. You're going under the idea that a foreigner came to your council/state/troop and is going to thank your group by telling about his/her experiences. This particular version is for Minnesota residents where Scandinavian descendants tend to rule. Change it to fit your area as best as you can.

Skit ContributorJosh Brekke

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