FLIGHT ATTENDENT:(in a squeaky whimpy voice talking to his passengers)Hello and welcome to American Airlines. I will be your flight attendent during this flight so if you need anything you just call me and I will give it to you. But before we take off you need to know some rules.(slightly changing to a crazy voice)I REALLY hate germs! So DONT SNEEZE!!.(breaths in and out fast and returning to the whimpy voice)Enjoy your flight.
(The flight attendent begins to wander around the isle until someone in the back section sneezes. The flight attendent looks around in a crazy and surprized sort of way and marches up to the front row very angry)
Flight attendent:(Screaming in a deep and angry voice)DID YOU SNEEZE!!? DID YOU JUST SNEEZE ON MY PLANE!!?
Passenger:(scared voice)N-n-no S-s-sir I didnt sneeze!
Flight attendent:(same voice)YES YOU DID I JUST HEARD YOU SNEEZE!! ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR!!? (if passenger is holding somthing like a bag of peanuts or some chips, pick them up and throw them into the audiance)YOU LIE, YOU FLY!! NOW GET OFF MY PLANE!!(grab the passenger by the shirt and throw him off stage)
Passenger: No! No! AAAAAAAAA! (falls off stage)
Flight Attendent:(turns back to the audience and breaths in and out fast, returns to normal,and begins to walk back down the isle if nothing happend)
(let the same guy in the back sneeze again and let the same process continue over until the only guy left on the plane is the guy who has been sneezing)
Flight attendent:(same angry voice)DID YOU SNEEZE!!?
Last passenger: Yes i did sneeze.
Flight attendent:(back to whimpy voice and producing the kleenex frome his pocket)would you like a kleenex then?
Passenger: yeah sure thanks.(takes kleenex and blows his nose)
Six folding chairs,seven people, a kleenex, and other various props like what you would find on a continental air flight such as peanuts, chips, and a soda.
There is really no specific way to do this skit so the flight attendent must make this up as he goes along. But for the passangers on the flight memorize what you will say and do before you go on stage. When you do get on stage set the folding chairs out in rows of 2 (like what you would see on an airplane)and make sure that the person who plays the flight attendent has the kleenex in his pocket.
Skit ContributorFerdinand Tretter
Click here to report possible copyright violations.