G: Alright, recruits. (turns to face slightly crazy recruit standing alone)
G:(looks around recruit) Is this it?
G:Oh boy. Alright, you seem to be the only one.
G: Your first training will be with this (holds up walking stick) stick. You will guard this base by attacking enemies and saying "WHACKITY WHACK" and whacking them. (General demonstrates)
G: Got it? (hands recruit the stick)
G:Good. Now try.
R: (moves stick very little and says in a very timid voice): whackity whack?
G: NO MAN! You need more UMPH. Like this (demonstrates again)
R: (still hesitant But with more movement and volume): Whackity Whack?
G: Try again, you're getting there.
R: (goes full crazy): WHACKITY WHACK! WHACKITY WHACK! WHACKITY WHACK!
G: Good man, good! Lots of UMPH. Now guard the base while I go have a sandwich. (Walks off stage)
R: (looks around)
Two enemies start running towards him
R: (At the enemies) WHACKITY WHACKITY WHACK!
(Both enemies fall down dead)
G: (walks back on) WHOAH! You just killed two guys! You get a promotion!
R: (Salutes And hands the General the stick)
G: (flips stick) Here you are, you use this weapon like this: JABBITTY JAB! (thrusts stick forward twice) Now you try.
R: (Takes stick) Very timidly and with little thrust of stick says: Pokity poke?
G: NO NO NO, It's JABITY JAB!We are looking for Lethal Jabs, not pokes! here, try again.
R: (takes stick) Very hesitantly but louder and more aggressive says: Jabbity Jab?
G: Once more! UMPH man, UMPH!
R: (Goes full crazy) JABBITY JAB! JABBITY, JABITY, JABBITY JAB!!!
G: Excellent. I need a trip to the john, so stay here and stand guard.(Walks off stage)
Two enemies run on yelling.
R: JABBITY JAB, JABBITY JAB!
(both enemies fall down dead)
G: (walks back on) WOW! You just killed two more guys! You definitely get another promotion!
R:(Hands General Stick)
G:(flips stick other way) Here, this is a gun. You use it like this, BANGITY BANG!(pretends to be pulling trigger) Now you try.
R:(takes stick)Clickity click?
G: You forgot to reload silly. Here, let me. ("Reloads") Try again.
R: (still not into it) Bangity Bang?
G: Come man, you did it before!
R: (Goes FULL crazy) BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY BANG!
G: There you go lad. I think I need another sandwich. You, kill any trespassers.
R: (nods vigorously)
R: (looks around)
Two enemies come to attack him
R: (Getting blown back at every other shot) BANGITY BANG! BANGITY BANG!
Enemies drop down dead
G: (Walks back on)You did it again man! Well done. I would give you a promotion, but the gun is the best we got. I think I will eat another sandwich. Stand guard out here.(walks off stage)
R: (Salutes and looks around)
(to make a tank, have one of your smaller scouts sit on a taller scouts shoulders with one other scout holding each of the small scouts legs for support) Tank moves towards Recruit.
R: BANGITY BANG! (does not stop the tank) JABBITY JAB! (does not stop tank) WHACKITY WHACK! (tank runs over recruit)
TANK: (small scout on top): TANKITY TANK!
A Walking stick, and AT LEAST 12 scouts
One scout is the general(G), one scout is a slightly crazy recruit(R), the rest are the enemies (E1, etc.)
Skit Contributor2nd Dunnville CANADAIN Scout Troop
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