Sarcastic Scout Law


Sarcastic Scout Law


6 scouts and one scout master.


Memorize lines; if not, ad-libbing works just as well. The scout numbers can easily be altered to your liking.


Scout Leader: (without enthusiasm) Okay, you guys have done a great job explaining the Scout Oath. Now we'll talk about the Scout Law. Who can tell me about the first point? Scout 1: A Scout is trustworthy, just like when you promised us ice cream on the last camp out and you never gave it to us. Scout Leader: (sheepishly) Now, actually, that's an example of not being trustworthy. What's the second point of the Scout Law? Scout 2: A Scout is loyal, just like when you didn't show up at Scouts last Tuesday, or the Tuesday before that. Scout Leader: Now, listen, I had good reasons for not being there. Who can tell me the third point? Scout 3: A Scout is helpful, just like when you kept walking on the trail when Bobby sprained his ankle. Scout Leader: Yeah... um... let's move on. What is the fourth point? Scout 4: A Scout is friendly, like when you threatened that Scoutmaster last weekend. Scout Leader: What? Let's get it back together, guys, what's the next point? Scout 5: A Scout is courteous, like when you pushed over that old lady hiking last month. Scout Leader: That was her own fault. What's the sixth point? Scout 6: A Scout is kind, just like when you yelled at Jimmy for tying the bowline wrong. Scout Leader: Yeah, but he stopped crying after an hour or so. What's the next one? Scout 1: A Scout is obedient, like when the police told you to stop throwing garbage in the lake and you kept on doing it. Scout Leader: No, of course not. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of listening to your Scout leaders. Okay, what's the eighth one? Scout 2: A Scout is cheerful, like when you were complaining about having to teach us about the Scout Law. Scout Leader: (annoyed) What's the next one? Scout 3: A Scout is thrifty, like when you spent half of this year's budget on the refreshments for the Court of Honor. Scout Leader: And those were the best-tasting brownies and cookies I've ever spent $400.00 on. What is the tenth point? Scout 4: A Scout is brave, just like when that rabbit walked across the trail and you totally freaked out. Scout Leader: Okay, that is not a good example. It came out of nowhere and could have attacked us. What's number eleven? Scout 5: A Scout is clean, like when you were trash-talking and told off that lifeguard? Scout Leader: (angry) Aw, come on! What's the last point? Scout 6: A Scout is reverent, like when you made us do this noisy, sarcastic skit [insert name of place].


Matthew Silski


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