Pet Shop Complaint Department

 

Pet Shop Complaint Department

Equipment

(Optional) Various stuffed animals, table, sign that says "Pet Shop Complaints & Returns".

Preparation

Suitable for up to 13 scouts (or less).

Action

PET SHOW EMPLOYEE stands at desk beside sign that reads “Pet Store Complaints & Returns.” CUSTOMER #1 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #1: “My dog vanished! I want another one!” EMPLOYEE: “A dog can’t just vanish. What happened to him?” CUSTOMER #1: “I accidentally spilled SPOT REMOVER on him & he just disappeared!” CUSTOMER #1 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #2 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER#2 : “I want to return this dog. All he does is play chess all the time.” EMPLOYEE: ”A dog that plays chess? That’s amazing! He must be the smartest dog in the world!” CUSTOMER #2: “Well, he’s not that that smart. I beat him three games out of five.” CUSTOMER #2 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #3 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #3: “I took my dog to a movie & he cried & howled through the whole thing.” EMPLOYEE: “You mean he understood the movie? That’s the most amazing thing I ever heard!” CUSTOMER #3: “You don’t understand! He loved the book!” CUSTOMER #3 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #4 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #4: “I need to return this cat. He keeps using the internet while I’m gone.” EMPLOYEE: “Are you sure?” CUSTOMER #4: “Well, SOMEONE changed my user name to Fluffy & I can’t find my mouse anywhere!” CUSTOMER #4 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #5 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #5: “I want to return this hummingbird. All it does is hum.” EMPLOYEE: ”Well, what did you expect?” CUSTOMER #5: ”I want a hummingbird that knows the words!” CUSTOMER #5 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #6 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #6: “I’m returning this dog because he lost his tail & I want you to put it back on.” EMPLOYEE: ”What makes you think we can put his tail back on?” CUSTOMER #6: ”Isn’t this a RE-TAIL store?” CUSTOMER #6 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #7 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #7: “I want to return my goldfish.” EMPLOYEE: “But this isn’t a goldfish, it’s a cat.” CUSTOMER #7: “That’s the problem. The goldfish is inside the cat!” CUSTOMER #7 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #8 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #8: “I bought a bird here & now it’s gone!” EMPLOYEE: “I’m sorry – what happened to it?” CUSTOMER #8: “It flew south for the winter!” EMPLOYEE: “Why did it do that?” CUSTOMER #8: “I assume because it was too far to walk!” CUSTOMER #8 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #9 WALKS UP TO TABLE, with DOG (another scout) walking on hands and knees beside him CUSTOMER #9: “I’ve been ripped off! You guys told me that this dog could talk, but he can’t!” EMPLOYEE: “Of course he can. What covers a house?” DOG: “Roof!” EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘roof’. How does sandpaper feel?” DOG: “Rough!” EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘rough’. And who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” DOG: “Ruth!” EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘Babe Ruth’. I’m sorry sir, but it’s clear that this dog can talk.” CUSTOMER #9: “Do you think I’m stupid? Everyone knows the greatest baseball player of all time was Mickey Mantle!” CUSTOMER #9 WALKS OFF CUSTOMER #10 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #10: “I have a problem with this rabbit.” EMPLOYEE: “What’s the problem?” CUSTOMER #10: “It only hops backwards!” EMPLOYEE: “Hmmm … sounds like it must have been bred from a receding hare line.” CUSTOMER #10 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #11 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #11: “This dog is driving me crazy! He makes an incredibly annoying clicking sound.” EMPLOYEE: “Hmmm – could be one of two problems.” CUSTOMER #11: “What two problems?” EMPLOYEE: “Either he’s a watch dog, or he’s got a lot of ticks.” CUSTOMER #11 WALKS OUT CUSTOMER #12 WALKS UP TO TABLE CUSTOMER #12: “You sold me a defective cat!” EMPLOYEE: “What’s wrong with it?” CUSTOMER #12: ”Well, first it survived a fire, and then it survived being run over, poisoned, drowned, eaten by a bear, dropped from an airplane and falling into a well. But then I accidentally electrocuted it and it DIED!” EMPLOYEE: “Sounds to me like your cat demonstrated amazing survival skills.” CUSTOMER #12: “Don’t you understand? You sold me a cat with only 8 lives!”

Contributor

Jeanette Thomas

Score


Score of 4.4 from 53 reviews.

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