Great Scouters' Jokes
The 13th point of the Scoutmaster's Law reads, "A
Scoutmaster is ... hilarious." Humor is a necessary skill
for those who work with youth. And it must be developed, like the
art of storytelling, the skill of knot tying, or the science of
neurosurgery. A warning though. A joke is funny only when it
teaches a Scout to laugh. If a Scout is singled out, embarrassed,
scared, or made fun of, the Scoutmaster has failed.
Index
- Mountain Ambrosia - A great
cooking stunt that will stump even the smartest boys.
- The Twinkie Rock - Scouts play a
great joke on their Scoutmaster during a 50 miler.
- Iron Springs Hike - The camp
staff goes all out in fooling the troops.
- Go "Skinnering" - One
way to put an end to hazing.
- Cornish Snipes - This Scoutmaster
taught his Scouts a lesson they won't forget.
- Ice Fishing - A winter camping
trick that's sure to fool the whole district.
- Peanut Butter - Varisity Scouts get
a lesson on cat holes and the environment.
Before your next trip, remove the label from a can of
sweetened condensed milk, and dent it with rock so it looks
old. Slip away from the boys, and partially bury the can
along a river bank. Later, take the boys hiking to this area,
and "find" the can.
It's important to get them guessing what is inside: beans,
soup, fruit cocktail, etc. They can also guess how old the
can is. Then make your move. Ask them if they've ever had
mountain ambrosia. (If they have, get the recipe, I'd like to
try some...) Take the can back to camp and immerse it in a
pot of boiling water for 15 minutes (The water keeps the can
from exploding). Explain that boiling will kill the germs and
crystallize any sugars in the can's contents, or something
ridiculous like that.
While it is cooling, start daring the boys to be the first
to try it. When cool, open the can and start peddling its
contents.
(The sweetened condensed milk, when boiled, turns into a
sweet pudding, excellent for dipping apples and bananas in.)
One Scoutmaster related the following joke that his boys
played on him during a 50 miler. His pack seemed unusually
heavy after their midmorning break, but he put it on and
encouraged the boys as they marched along. No matter how
tight his hip belt was, the pack continued to nearly break
his back.
Soon, one of his Scouts asked what the problem was. The
Scoutmaster said his pack felt ten pounds heavier, but
couldn't figure out why. After a half an hour of increasing
agony, the same Scout thoughtfully offered to take ten pounds
from the Scoutmaster's pack, for a price. The Scoutmaster
would have to forfeit his twinkie at lunch that day.
Knowing that he couldn't go on, he consented. The troop
halted while the Scout opened his Scoutmaster's pack. There,
under the top flap, was a huge rock that must have weighed at
least 15 pounds. The Scout had slipped it into the pack
during the last rest period!
A camp staff member added this hike to a summer camp's
list of recommended troop outings. It included the following
description:
"NEW THIS YEAR! 3 miles up old Mt. Timpanooke we
discovered several large hot springs near the iron mines.
Bring your swimsuits and plan on spending a fantastic day
swimming, diving from the rocks, and relaxing in Timpanooke's
Iron Springs!"
When the troop arrived, they found about 10 old box spring
mattresses spread out in a small meadow. The sign read
"Welcome to Iron Springs!"
Rulon Skinner, a legend Scouter in his own time, directed
the High Uintah Camp in Utah for a number of years. In
discussing "hazing", he relates the following
story.
He was walking through camp late one evening and overheard
some Scouts in a tent. One of them was older, and he was
scaring the other boys in the tent with a wild tale about a
bear that was reported to be loose in camp. Mr. Skinner
worried about the younger Scouts in the tent, but didn't want
to barge in.
As the story progressed, he got an idea. He could see the
silhouette of the older boy leaning against one wall of the
tent, so he stepped up right behind the boy. At the story's
end, the tent grew quiet as each boy contemplated his fate
that night. Mr. Skinner suddenly stomped with both feet and
then took a hand and grabbed at the boy's back through the
tent wall. he claims that the boy jumped right out of his
skin. The younger Scouts were no longer the fools.
A new Scoutmaster worried about his troop's tradition of
taking new Scouts on snipe hunts. Snipe hunts usually ended
with an embarassed, scared Scout who wanted to leave the
troop. He knew the tradition wouldn't stop with a lecture
alone, so he and his wife dreamed up the following scheme.
At the meeting before their monthly campout, he brought an
encyclopedia and talked about snipes. The Scouts thought he
was setting up the new guys for the joke. But what he really
wanted was for the older Scouts to know what a snipe might
look like.
The Scoutmaster met secretly with the new Scouts just
before the campout, and told them the truth about snipe
hunts. Then he gave each of them a frozen cornish game hen
from the grocery store.
That night when the younger Scouts were given the honor of
"holding the bags" for the catch, they ran to get
their pillow cases which contained cornish hens.
After 20 minutes of waiting, the young Scouts returned to
camp, "snipes" in hand. The Scoutmaster, who'd
established himself as the snipe expert during the last
meeting, confirmed their quarry. Snipe hunting just wasn't so
funny after that.
On a snowy winter campout in Maryland's Broad Creek Scout
Reservation, a Scout told the rest of his troop that he was
going ice fishing. They laughed, because the few fish that
were in the lake wouldn't even bite in summer.
But the boy insisted, so the troop followed him down, and
watched from the bank as he chipped a hole in the ice and
dropped his line in. After about five minutes, he pulled out
a 25 inch trout! A minute later, he pulled out another one.
When he brought them back to shore, the troop couldn't
believe their eyes.
The joke? He purchased the fish at a meat market before
camp, and hid them in his coat while he hiked out onto the
ice.
The next year, a lot of holes were chipped in the ice...
A Varsity Coach struggled with his new team on their first
backpacking trip together. None of the boys would use the cat
hole he'd dug away from camp. On the third night of the trip,
he decided to do something a little unorthodox. (If you don't
like cat hole humor, please skip this.) So he put a large
spoonful of peanut butter on his boot.
The boys were around the fire, he walked into the light,
sat down, and propped his boot up near the fire for everyone
to see. Looking down he "noticed" the substance on
his boot, "Oh, that had better not be..." he
started as he stuck his finger in it, and then stuck it in
his mouth to test, "all right! Who didn't use the cat
hole?!"
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