Gunga Mahdmul The Mystic
Gunga Mahdmul Costume, as elaborate as you want. At the minimum, a sheet to wrap the cub. We also used: Bald-head wig Clip-on bushy mustache Fake round-lens glasses Ping-pong ball Table Striking surface from a book or box of matches Some matches A candle or lantern
Dress the Cub up like an imaginary Mystic, Gunga Mahdmul. He will be bare-foot with the match book/box striking surface taped to the bottom of one of his feet.
The joke: Gunga Mahdmul, as most mystics, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.... what? (Oh man, this is so bad, it's good) A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. We pick one of the skinniest kids, and dress him up like Gunga Mahdmul. As the curtain opens, he is walking around on the stage, barefoot. The announcer reads the first line: Announcer: Gunga Mahdmul, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. At that point, we have an adult walk-on with a candle and a match but can't find anyplace to strike the match. So, he sees Gunga Mahdmul and says, "Hey Gunga Mahdmul, can you help me out?" while holding up the match and candle. Gunga Mahdmul says "Sure!" and sits down, exposing his feet toward the adult. The adult strikes the match on Gunga Mahdmul's foot (actually, a striking surface that the audience can't see or sand paper taped to his foot), lights the candle, and proclaims, "Thanks Gunga Mahdmul!". Announcer: He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. We have four boys come out to play the game where they are blowing a ping-pong ball back and forth across the table. At one point, the ball falls off the table and one boy laments that he can’t find the ball. One boy proclaims, "I have an idea! Hey Gunga Mahdmul, can you help us out?" They line up, 2 boys on each side with Gunga Mahdmul in the middle, and blow him back and forth with their breath, as if playing tennis. Announcer: And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. Gunga Mahdmul is walking from one end of the stage to the other and meets the remaining boys. As they get close, they all say "Hi Gunga Mahdmul!". Gunga Mahdmul says "Hiiiiiii!". They all wave their hands around their noses, and faint. Announcer: This made him...(pause) A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Perhaps, at this point, we could have all of the boys link arms, with Gunga Mahdmul in the middle, and sing "Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis", perhaps kicking their legs in unison (like in the movie Mary Poppins) as they exit the stage. Perhaps we could have a couple of cubs dressed like chimney sweeps with the brooms join the chorus line. It would be very important that the announcer speak very clearly, and perhaps more slowly as he delivers the punch line, or the joke will be lost on the audience. (This was a joke somebody sent me that I adopted into a skit. We performed it at a Pack meeting in 2003 and it was a huge success.)
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