Darth Vader's Next Commander
no prep required. six scouts needed
Narrator: On the command deck of an Imperial warship, in orbit above a planet in a galaxy far, far away, we see Darth Vader replace yet another commander who let the rebels escape once too many times. Several fearful candidates have been assembled for selection of the new commander. Commander: Lord Vader, I will not fail you again Vader: [talk into cup to make that echo sound] [take a couple of those Vadar breaths]Yes Commander. YOU have failed me for the last time [choke air with one hand]. Commander: …. Urgh…..[fall to one knee, making choking sound] Vader: I need a new commander! Candidates: [line up perpendicular to audience. One should act distracted not attentative] Vader: Where are the candidates for my new commander? Candidates: [each raise hand halfway half heartily, except inattentive candidate who is staring up] Vader: Excellent! Take one step forward if you have the courage to serve the emperor as his fleet commander! Candidates: [everyone takes one step back except inattentive candidate] Vader: Congratulations! You will have a glorious but short career as my new fleet commander! Inattentive Candidate: [look around in panic, grab throat] Commander: [struggle to yell] Runnn! Inattentive Candidate: [run off stage] NO WAY Vader: [to remaining candidates] if you let him get away then one of you will serve as the new commander! Remaining candidates [who were laughing at inattentive candidate, now stare at each other, panic, then yell at each other] GET HIM! [run after inattentive candidate]
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