These are the lines you need to know for the skit. It's okay to tweak them a little, but I've found if you do it too much it becomes less funny. (A Scout, hereafter referred to as Master, is on a beach. It's okay to just imagine this.) Master: Ah, finally. My own private island. Now no one can possibly disturb me...except maybe my pet. Oh, who do we have here? (A weary traveler appears lost on the beach.) Traveler #1: Where am I? Master: You have trespassed on my island. Now you must be punished. Traveler #1: Wait, what? Master: I give you two options: Death...or Bum-Bum. Traveler #1: Well, I don't want to die, and Bum-Bum sounds kind of cute, so...I'll choose Bum-Bum. Master: Very well. Bum-Bum? (A savage beast runs up and tackles the traveler.) Traveler #1: Aaaaaaaaaahh!!! Master: Very good, Bum-Bum. (The beast we now know as Bum-Bum leaves, dragging the traveler along. A second traveler appears. Note: This part is optional.) Traveler #2: Boy, am I lost! Master: Stop! This is my private island, and I do NOT appreciate trespassers. Traveler #2: I'm sorry. I'll leave if you want! Master: It's too late for that. You too will be punished. I give you two choices: Death...or Bum-Bum. Traveler #2: Given that, there's probably a catch to Bum-Bum...but still, it's probably better than death. Master: Bum-Bum? (Bum-Bum reappears and tackles the second traveler, but does not drag him away when he leaves. A third traveler appears.) Traveler #3: Can someone tell me where the bathroom is? Master: Oh, it's right down there, to the left. But you have trespassed on my island, and you must pay. (The third traveler notices the body of the second.) Traveler #3: Is that what happened to that guy? Master: Yes, and you face the same choice: Death...or Bum-Bum. Traveler #3: What did he choose? Master: He chose Bum-Bum. Traveler: Okay, then...I think I'm gonna go with Death. Master: Very well. You have chosen Death...by Bum-Bum!!!!! (Bum-Bum reappears and tackles the third traveler. The end.)
The Unknown Scout
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